Friend or foe?

Phrases like "best friends forever" and "i'll always be there for you" become empty words. Like any relationship, a friendship must be nurtured. But what happens when there's nothing to salvage? As he or she is just not that into you, a friend may not be into you, anymore. It's sad to realize that some friendships don't last, but it's important to cherish those who remain.

Asians in the Media Controversy: "Last Airbender" flick

In light of the film debut for M. Night Shyamalan's "Last Airbender," here's something to think about before watching this new summer flick. A protest will be held at the Hollywood Arclight today. For more info: http://blog.angryasianman.com/2010/06/protest-last-airbender-this-thursday-in.html

APA Groups: Casting in 'The Last Airbender' is 'Whitewashing'

The film's one main Asian actor, Dev Patel of 'Slumdog Millionaire,' will play a villain. By Melissa Chua, P.C. Web Reporter Published May 15, 2009 Hollywood is doing it again. In the wake of "Dragonball: Evolution" and "21" - films that ignited controversy over their casting of mostly Caucasian actors in roles originally written for Asian Pacific Americans - another Hollywood movie studio is drawing similar criticism. M. Night Shyamalan's upcoming movie "The Last Airbender," based on the Nickelodeon television series "Avatar: The Last Airbender," isn't set for release until 2010, but fans and APA advocacy groups are already accusing the production of racial bias in its selection of white actors to portray Asian characters. The popular animated series takes place in an Asian fantasy world inspired by Asian cultures and themes. The characters practice East Asian martial arts and dress in traditional Asian attire. They even write with Chinese characters. Yet in the film adaptation of the series, white actors play three out of four of the main characters. Dev Patel, of "Slumdog Millionaire" fame, will be the sole Asian face in the upcoming film version of "Airbender." Among the critics are members of the Media Action Network for Asian Americans (MANAA), the Los Angeles-based theater East West Players, and Racebending.com - a Web site launched in response to the film's casting. "People need to realize that recasting Asian actors as white actors is institutionalized discrimination that affect children who perceive white as the norm, even in a world that is Asian-based," said Loraine Sammy, public relations coordinator for Racebending.com. "This was a chance for actors from our community to be represented, but that chance was taken away," said Marissa Lee, also of Racebending.com. The "Airbender" casting sends a message to the public that white actors are more qualified and entitled than APA actors to play Asian characters, added Lee. So far Paramount Pictures, the studio backing the film, has remained tight-lipped about the casting process. "At this time, Paramount does not have a comment to share," said Michael Agulnek, vice president of national publicity and the film's lead publicist. But in a statement, "Airbender" producers said they "envisioned embodying the 'Airbender' universe with a large and ethnically diverse cast that represents many different heritages and cultures from all corners of the globe." "Diversity is good, but not when you're making the background more diverse and the foreground less diverse," said Lee. "The more this happens, the easier it gets for Hollywood to get away with it." In December when news of the casting broke, outraged fans began protesting with a letter-writing campaign, a petition and a direct response Web site. "Fans, most of which identify themselves as white, Latino and black, are really concerned that this racial discrimination sends a terrible message to children especially Asian children because they can't see themselves on screen," said Guy Aoki, co-founder of MANAA. Community leaders also expressed outrage when the film's casting director Deedra Ricketts told the Daily Pennsylvanian that she had asked extras auditioning for roles "to dress in traditional cultural ethnic attire ... if you're Korean, wear a kimono. If you're from Belgium, wear lederhosen." In response to Rickett's comments, East West Players' Tim Dang wrote a letter to Paramount blasting the studio. "Besides the ignorance of confusing Korean hanboks with Japanese kimonos, Ms. Ricketts' call for extras to come looking ethnic and foreign could not contrast more sharply with the casting of whites for most of the leading roles." Also at contention is Patel's character, Zuko - a villain. APA activists say movies like "Fu Manchu", "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "Sixteen Candles", show that Hollywood has a long record of casting actors of color as villains or stereotypical characters. "Very rarely are Asian people allowed to be cast heroes in the story," said Aoki. MANAA and Racebending.com are calling for a boycott of the film when it is released next summer. "We can refuse to support movies like these that are willing to sell actors of color short for whatever reason and to deny what they've done by casting people of color as extras," said Lee. For more information: www.manaa.org, www.racebending.com

Keeping it real

Some people fake their ages. Some people fake relationships. Some even fake their entire lives. One little white lie turns into a million white lies, and eventually it's an unending blur of fabrication.

We all lie. We're only human. But some lies are intended to hurt and offend. I don't like liars and especially cannot stand BSers.

People should say what they mean and nothing more. If you're going to say something, mean it. Words are just words until you give them meaning with action.

Lately, I've encountered many versions of BSers. They all have one thing in common--talking just to please and impress me without any follow through. It's so silly. Can't we just be real? BSing is essentially lying often with a selfish intent. Whoever thought compulsive liars and nonstop BSers were attractive was seriously mistaken. I want to meet authentic people who want genuine relationships. No games, just life.

Downward Dog is a Yogi's best friend

For an hour and a half, I can escape and completely focus on letting go. I've been to Rising Lotus Yoga in Sherman Oaks many times before, but I finally got my butt into one of Daniel Stewart's (studio owner) classes. He started off with some kirtan (yogic chanting), and slowly we started flowing. From the varying repetition of warrior poses and crescent pose to utkatasana (chair pose), downward-facing dog always feels good after a vinyasa (flow) and those chaturangas.

Chaturanga is a transitional sequence where you lower down slowly breathing out from a plank (push-up) position and roll up breathing in to cobra or up-dog peeling your shoulders back and opening your heart forward. Breathing out again, you release your core and pelvis upward into downward-facing dog for a few breaths. It's one of the best feelings.

My favorite part of class was when we went over to the wall and worked on inversions, which is really just a fancy term for handstands and headstands--poses where your feet are raised above your head. The headstand is supposed to be a very stress relieving asana (pose). We worked on the forearm stand and headstand, and like most yoga classes, we topped that section off with plow pose and shoulderstand.

Rising Lotus is a welcoming place to practice for new and experienced yogis and yoginis. I appreciate when teachers make an effort to assist and support my personal practice. Daniel was a friendly teacher who I'd definitely take again. I also recommend Claire Hartley, the co-owner.
"Let joy rise."

Rising Lotus Yoga, 13557 Ventura Bl. Sherman Oaks, CA risinglotusyoga.com

"Twilight" Hype Unraveled

Stephenie Meyer's four-book series, The Twilight Saga, has become a worldwide phenomenon on the big screen with the release of "Twilight"(November, 2008) and "New Moon" (November, 2009).

So what's the hype all about? Twihards, the name coined for die hard Twilight fans, don't stop at just the expected teenage girl. In fact, twihards around the globe, men and women, of course mostly women, in their 30s, 40s and even 50s are raving about vampires and werewolves.

First, the obvious is the strikingly good-looking cast of monsters. If you don't like the story, eye candy like Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) or Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) and Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene) or Rosalie Hale (Nikki Reed) will make the two hours more bearable. I admit Edward is easy on the eyes, but I'm not one of those obsessed Rob Pattinson fans. I keep my obsession controlled and limited to "Twilight" Edward, a character Meyer describes as "dazzling" and "perfect." Edward is charming and handsome, a modern-day Romeo or as modern as you can get for a century's old vampire posing as a 17-year-old.

Of course looks are only skin deep, so let's talk about the plot. The Twilight Series illustrates the love story of a vampire and a plain Jane high school human named Bella. In every relationship, there are ups and downs--trials and triumphs. The saga captures the essence of a first love, first heartbreak and a love triangle between two monsters fueled by enemy clans--vampires versus werewolves.

Underneath all the love spells and lovey dovey, sentimental moments, there's an entire history of war between vampires and werewolves. This isn't like your everyday love story. There are vampires with super powers and ferocious werewolves deeply rooted in their Native American culture and Bella, who is still a mystery to why vampire powers don't work on her.

I just watched the first "Twilight" movie a few months ago out of curiosity, and to be honest, I wasn't that impressed, but I was intrigued. I like the whole story of vampires and werewolves, and I'm a sucker for romance. I watched it again and again, and a new fan was born. I just finished reading the first book, which I enjoyed more than the movie. Since then, I naturally watched, "New Moon," which was entertaining especially with the multiple intentional cheesy chest shots of Jacob. Despite its oftentimes corny moments, Twilight is a beautiful love story, and the fact that vampires and werewolves are involved, makes the plot a lot more interesting and exciting.

I've never enjoyed watching a movie so many times, but "Twilight" is a light-hearted, feel good drama that I could watch repeatedly. Who doesn't want to be with someone who is loyal, romantic, protective and loves you unconditionally--not to mention he's amazingly gorgeous? As if Edward isn't enough, Bella also captures the heart of her hopelessly devoted werewolf best friend, Jacob.

I just started reading "New Moon," and I can't wait to find out what's in store for Bella and her monster lovers Edward and Jacob. "Eclipse," part three of the series, is set to release on June 30. Stay tuned twihards, and it's not too late to get on board. ;)

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Do people belong to each other? You meet someone who sparks your fancy, and you fall madly in love. The feelings are mutual. You're each other's "lobsters". Does that mean you "belong" to each other? Does anyone really belong to someone else? In "Breakfast at Tiffany's," Paul (Fred) tells Holly that she belongs to him.

It sounds a little possessive, but for romance sake, it's nice to have the security of having someone who will proudly and publicly label you as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and "husband" or "wife."

"Breakfast at Tiffany's" is one of my favorite classics to watch. Audrey Hepburn's character, Holly Golightly, is a capricious party girl who claims to be a free-spirited "wild thing" incapable of being in love. She encounters relationships with "rats", "super rats" and a Brazilian "coward little mouse." She blindly chases men who seem to be good on paper, but in the end the penniless writer Paul Varjak steals her heart.

It's an entertaining tale that leaves me thinking about life and love and the types of potential relationships I've encountered. I've had my share of rats and super rats--the guys who come and go, sometimes too suddenly. Regardless, everyone was an experience that came with lessons to be learned.

If people do belong to someone, we should be two complete individuals who choose to share our lives with someone else. None of that "You complete me," talk because people need to function solo in spite of being with someone.

"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. We're after the same rainbow's end-- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend, Moon River and me."

L-O-V-E.

Love love looooooooooooooooooove. All you need is love. This is not an entry about the loveliness of love. Rather the reality we come face to face with at some point or multiple points in our lives-- heart breakers are out there...beware! Getting your heart broken is just part of life, but how many times do we have to endure it before we meet someone who will stay? Is it all a game? Don't come off too strong. Don't make yourself too available because it'll make you seem desperate, needy and clingy. Don't tell each other how you really feel when you feel it especially if it's too early on in your "relationship." Don't be too communicative about your feelings. Don't mention labels. Why are there so many unspoken "rules" that seem to dictate a functional "relationship"? It shouldn't be that hard. Guys are weird, but I'm sure guys think gals are equally confusing.


There are a lot of "good guys" out there, and I've met some of them and dated them. But a good guy doesn't equate him to be a good boyfriend. Being a good boyfriend or girlfriend takes practice, and it doesn't happen over night. But if you want to be good for someone, you will be. So I can't stand those cop-out expressions, "I'm not good for you," or "You deserve better." Why not be good or better for me then? The real reason is he's just not that into me, and he's too much of a coward to say what he really feels. It's even worse, if he's felt this way for who knows how long and drags on a half-hearted relationship with you until finally, he realizes you're in love with him and he has to get out immediately. Why is it so scary to be committed to someone? I guess the answer consistently boils down to whether or not he's really into you. Because no matter how much time you want to spend with him or how long you want to talk to him or tell him how much you love him, he won't run away if he's really into you. He'll probably still be scared, but he'll be grounded enough to know what he has and smart enough to hang on to you as long as he can.


Bad guys break your heart, but the good guys can catch you by surprise and completely rip your heart into pieces. Heart breakers come in nice guy, good guy, shy guy, romantic guy, any guy. Finding that guy who will stay and want to make you happy is one of the greatest journeys in life. Without heartbreaks, we wouldn't know how sweet love can feel like. Afterall, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.

"The Golden State" becomes irrelavant

Times are tough especially for Californians facing a deficit and the increasing sales tax. In addition to the economic recession that's swept the nation and the world, we are battling larger unemployment gaps and stagnant salaries that are no longer conducive to our lifestyles. It's time to cut back and be resourceful. Californians must move onward and upward if there's any chance of thriving in this slump.

It's times like these when "survival of the fittest" rings true. Nowadays, what can you really get with a college degree? You can go through years and years of schooling, successfully collecting degrees only to end up working for minimum wage if you're lucky with tips, at a thankless and unfulfilling job. Unfortunately, it seems like people who end up making it without post high school education are the ones who are able to market themselves effectively also known as the ultimate bs-ers. People like that can manipulate themselves to the top with poise and grace, while the hard-working college-graduates who don't carry the same charisma and self-confidence fail. Is life one big competition to getting what you want or know you deserve?

Finding a job is like finding a mate. There are plenty of fish in the sea or opportunities out there. Some will like you, and others will reject you, but the important thing is to learn from your experiences and keep going regardless. A very important word to remember is "next," said a wise person who I go to for optimistic perspectives.

The happiest place on Earth

Disney: Where children live happily ever after
By Melissa Chua
Published December 4, 2006 by Daily Sundial

There is something about Disney that puts a smile on people's faces. Disney has captured the hearts of many people of all ages and races, male and female, mainly because of its entertaining movies and extravagant theme parks and resorts.

During my childhood years, I remember watching every Disney movie that came out, and eagerly anticipating new ones. I was always drawn to them because I could relate to each movie on some level, and frankly, they were and still are enjoyable to watch. I have started a collection of my favorites, and I know I am not alone.

Disney movies have become timeless classics to a great number of people no matter their age. They introduce engaging and happy-go-lucky characters who dance and sing inspirational songs, in the midst of some kind of journey that magically ends with a happily ever after.

Disney characters are lively and play versatile roles that audience members can relate to. The characters face struggles that many people encounter in their daily lives such as poverty, relationship dilemmas, a death of a loved one and even foul treatment by an evil stepmother and stepsisters. Despite all the ill-fated events, the characters overcome their obstacles and perpetuate the idea of happy endings. It is no wonder these movies are so popular. They are a pleasant escape from the reality of an imperfect world. At least for an hour and a half, you can watch some animated characters succeed in flying colors, and either become motivated to do the same or revel in their success. Either way, Disney movies speak to us and invoke positive emotions because of the happy endings. They give hope to many that we can also get our happily ever afters.

In addition, Disney makes an obvious effort to represent different races and cultures, which include Native Americans in "Pocahontas," Arabians in "Aladdin," and Hawaiians in "Lilo and Stitch." Being part Chinese, I was excited when "Mulan" was released because it not only starred a Chinese girl, but gave me some insight and understanding of the Chinese culture, which I had little knowledge of.

Even though it was not Walt Disney's initial intention to teach, there are valuable lessons to be learned in every movie. For example, "Hercules" is about a boy who struggles to believe in himself in order to fulfill his destiny as a hero. The movie is also based on Greek and Roman mythology, which gives viewers a dose of the mythical world according to the Ancient Greeks and Romans. In "The Lion King," the main character Simba realizes he must stop running away from his problems and attend to his duties and responsibilities. Since Disney movies target a general audience, they influence and instill life lessons and thus create a foundation of moral behavior in households.

The movies and characters generate the themes, which create the ambiance of Disney theme parks and resorts. Whenever I go to Disneyland, there is a general feeling of happiness and cheer. The buildings are colorful and lavished with fairytale designs, characters and props, which create a dream-like world of perfection. The employees typically exude positive energy and show delight in being in a location called "the happiest place on earth."

Like Disney movies, the theme parks carry on the idea of escaping from reality because they contain different lands, each with a corresponding theme throughout the land. The lands, which are outrageously adorned by theme, allow park visitors to step into and experience a new Disney world created with imagination and magic. Visitors engage themselves in different realms of imagination. Time spent at Disneyland or one of the Disney resorts does ignite the feeling of it being "the happiest place on earth" because their surroundings were and are created to spread happiness and cheer to visitors.

Disney allows us to tune out of our sometimes miserable lives and tune into a world of indulgence and utopia. Disney movies, theme parks and resorts give us the opportunity to rekindle our carefree and happy days as a child. Disney has brought inspiration, laughter and, most importantly, happiness to people everywhere.

Not only has Disney brightened up our social world, it has helped shape our economic one as well. Disney is credited immensely for being a role model to businesses because of their successful marketing tactics and excellent customer service. Everyone knows who Mickey Mouse is and that is because Disney has aggressively plastered its logo and characters on an array of products ranging from daily home or work appliances to gadgets and toys. The company makes everyday items a Disney item. These products can be found at grocery stores, various stores in the mall, or even at a gas station. The Disney name is definitely visible to consumers.

Customer service is another factor that makes Disney the quintessential business. All Disney park and resort employees are trained extensively to exhibit exceptional customer service always with a pleasant disposition. They are taught to treat every customer's needs responsibly and seriously.

Disney's customer service expectations and business moves and ideas have influenced businesses, which soon coined the term "disneyization" of society.

Disney brings happiness and teaches life lessons to many through their captivating films and utopian-like resorts on top of setting a business foundation for many entrepreneurs.
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Liars, cheaters and the eternally confused oh my!

I finally realized that I'm constantly attracting the ultimate bachelor. He's the guy who likes you one day, and forgets you the next. He's the guy who profusely verbalizes and acts out his feelings for you, so you totally think he's into you. But really, he's just playing the game. He's dashing and charming. He's your knight in shining armor until he's gone without an explanation.

I don't want to sound like a bitter and heartbroken single tart (because I'm really not), but i guess it's too late now. Anyways, Mr. Wonderful sweeps me off my feet. It's all nice in the beginning-the flirting and the witty banter. He likes me. I like him. Why can't we just go from there? But that's where the problem begins. Once something tangible happens like moving forward, he suddenly stops calling me and slowly but surely disappears as if he were a very elaborate dream. After my routine phase of "Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them." I wonder what happened to him. What? When? Where? Why??????? and sometimes How? He's the ultimate bachelor, but I don't think he even knows it.

Perhaps my friend is right, "Guys are stupid, and women are crazy!" I don't have a clue, and neither does he. Why do we do the things we do? For the chance of love? I believe in love despite all my cynicism and occasional bitterness, but it doesn't come easy. Love happens, and when it does, it's magical.

Running the Malibu Waves

Pepperdine University’s Graziadio School of Business and Management is hosting the 5th Annual Running the Malibu Waves on March 7, 2009 to benefit The Special Olympics & The Children’s Lifesaving Foundation. The run/walk includes a 5K (3.1 mi), 10K (6.2 mi.) and 1 mi. run for kids 12 and under along the Malibu coastline. Pre-registration ends Friday, March 6 at 11:59 p.m. Please visit the website to register and for more information: http://www.pepperdinec4c.org/.

It's a great cause, and it's right on the beach. I'm running the 10k. Hope to see you there!

He's just not that into me

If he's not calling you, he's not interested. Is it really that simple? If all men meant what they said, exactly the way they said it, wouldn't women stop wasting their hearts on men who are just not that into them?

As a newly self-acknowledged single gal, I often find guys complicated, so I decided to watch "He's just not that into you (on Valentine's Day no less)," a movie based on a novel by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, hoping to get some insight on the ever so complex male psyche. The movie is based on an episode of Sex and the City that reveals common blind spots women develop leading to prolonged fake relationships.

He's just not into you was entertaining, but not one of my favorites especially for a chick flick. It dictates romance in black and white. If he's not calling you, sleeping with you, marrying you; he's just not that into you? That's too cut and dry for me, but of course a woman would say that considering, and I'm speaking for all womankind, we tend to over analyze a lot if not all the time when it comes to guys. As the movie points out, women constantly rationalize situations and make excuses for why their guy is this way and that, which eventually leads to living a fantasy in some cases.

It's amazing how many times we live under our interpretations of events rather than our reality. Is the truth too hard to face? Maybe he really is just not that into you. It's truly heartbreaking when you give and love completely, but it's just not reciprocated. But that's when we need to take a step back and re access the relationship-the good, the bad and the ugly.

Are we just masochists? It can be so obvious he's just not that into you, but the pursuit to get him persists. Maybe we're all just hopeless romantics so willing to put our hearts on the line even for a guy who doesn't give us the time of day. The search for Mr. right is a tangled web of heartbreak, confusion and disappointment; but it's also a disarray of excitement, enlightenment and love.

Relationships shouldn't be a game we play. If we like someone, we should tell them, and act accordingly. It's time to be real people by showing how we genuinely feel when we feel it because that special someone could be passing us by right this minute.

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Related article:
Fear of loneliness causes loveless relationships
By Melissa Chua
(Published by Daily Sundial Wednesday, November 1, 2006)

It has come to my realization just recently that there are plenty of people in relationships who lack love for each other or even the interest, whether it is physical or emotional.

Some people wonder why they are even with that person, yet they don't do anything about their doubts. They simply accept how things are and co-exist under the titles "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."

Others have been in the relationship for a few months or maybe a couple of years, so the comfort level is obviously there, but problems persist, and no resolutions or positive changes are made. The relationship is doomed to fail. Everyone around them and perhaps the two people in the relationship know it. But these same people are still together.

Why do they stay in these loveless, so-called relationships? Some stay because it's comfortable and secure. They don't like change.

Others endure the lifeless union because of loyalty to the other. Maybe one person realizes he or she is not in love with the other but does not have the heart to break it off. The reasons go on, but I think one of the main reasons for these fake relationships is the fear of being alone, which is sometimes referred to as monophobia. The fear of loneliness is very common. Nobody wants to be single. They'd rather be in a loveless or meaningless relationship than have to say, "Table for one, please."

I don't blame these people because our society has made it perfectly clear that it's better to be in a relationship than be single. Pairs get better deals with almost anything. Buy two get one free, or buy two for the price of one as opposed to buying one for the regular price. There are always special couples' prices in various recreational or entertainment situations such as restaurant deals and hotel or travel accommodations. Single people are even forced to pay more in taxes, so economically, being single can put a dent in your wallet!

Nonetheless, single life definitely has its perks. As a single woman myself, I embrace the fact that I am not attached. I don't have to deal with the drama people in relationships face, such as jealousy, double standards, hypocrisy or physical and emotional pain. Granted, there are issues single people face as well, such as feeling important, validated, or even lovable despite the current single status.

I am aware no couple is perfect but there is a fine line between constant bickering and genuine disgust for each other! Some people don't belong together, yet they constantly force a relationship with the other.

I urge people in relationships to look at themselves and their partners and honestly evaluate whether they are together for the right reasons. By the right reasons, I mean: Does she or he make you happy? Is the distribution of giving and taking equal? And simply, but importantly, do you romantically care for the person?

One of the ultimate goals in life is happiness. Why would you settle for someone mediocre when the right person who can make you so much happier could be out there? Sometimes you need to take a risk to feel the rush of real love. I think love is worth it. Don't you?

There is nothing wrong with being single. Being unattached allows more time and freedom for personal growth. Alone time is necessary every now and then because it instills independence, which I think is an essential life tool. Oftentimes, people in relationships get so caught up in the other person that they lose parts of themselves that once defined them. Being single permits an individual to focus more on her or his goals and dreams without any hesitations a relationship may provoke. Also, when you are single, you are not completely alone because you still have your friends. Sometimes friends can make you feel as happy as a boyfriend or girlfriend can.

Don't get me wrong. There are many days I wish I had a significant other. However, I choose to be single and dependent on myself rather than have even a slightest reliance on a guy to determine how happy I am or can be.

Life is too short to waste your time on empty relationships. Life should be enjoyed, and if you want to share it with someone romantically, make sure that person makes you happy.